you know i hate you
the first thing you ever said to me. 2023.
grade 9.
grade 10.
I already knew. It just took me three years to say it.
1
days of nothing.
my fault. I know.
follow request sent
accepted
800 days of nothing.
then this.
tap the days.
the text.
four hours on the phone while I drove. you didn't have to.
perfumes. you showed me the collection.
first time in three years.
your piercing bled and you called me anyway.
same school since third grade. I never knew.
your tournament. your confession. our first kiss.
your graduation. the lilies.
you stayed on the line at the vet.
I woke up early so it'd be me who picked you up.
the day we said goodbye so I could travel.
we talked.
rub to remember
the flowers got their own chair.
first time I ever gave you flowers. not the last.
top notes
the way you say my name when you're annoyed
heart
eye rolls, shy faces, four-hour calls
base
loyalty. the kind that doesn't evaporate.
discontinued everywhere. one bottle exists.
okay. now the serious part.
you talk about perfume like it's a language
I'm learning it
four hours on the phone while I drove
you didn't have to
your hair
your smile
your eyes
you bite. and you hit.
please don't stop
you're open with me
you have no idea what that's worth
the face you make when you're shy
you don't know you're doing it
your eye rolls
genuinely a favourite
you go dry when you're mad
funny every single time
your name
I just like saying it
you're a terrible liar
don't argue. I can see it happening.
you get annoyed at nothing
and I get to fix it every time
loyalty
not just the obvious kind. all of it. everything the word can carry.
and the same, back.
loyalty
not just the obvious kind. all of it. everything the word can carry.
trust
you never have to check. neither do I.
and the same, back.
trust
you never have to check. neither do I.
exclusivity
I don't want to share you. any part of you.
and the same, back.
exclusivity
I don't want to share you. any part of you.
respect
the kind you don't have to ask for twice.
and the same, back.
respect
the kind you don't have to ask for twice.
a two-way street. everything above, both directions, always.
30+
times I've driven past since june 6th
I don't have an explanation. the car just goes there.
june 26. I woke up early just to be the one who picked you up.
this is us. I'd like to make it official.
Vera — will you be my girlfriend?
and you said you hated me.
Vera & Jawad
she said yes
days of us: 0
screenshot this one.
I love you.
— J